What Pairs with Anger

Coffee.  Preferably with ritual.


The ritual slows you down.

Consider having a grinder at home.  A burr grinder is the best.

This is what a burr grinder looks like.  You can find pretty good ones for around $50 and pretty great ones for around $100.  I have had one break on me after a couple of months and it was no a happy day.

bodum burr grinder

If you are in the USA or if you live in a place where Amazon.com ships you can find this nice Bodum burr grinder here.  It also comes in 7 colours.

Here is a video on how to do a perfect pour over – see how this is actually a ritual and this type of ritual gives you a moment to calm-the-heck-down.


My handsome and talented son-in-law is a coffee roaster and continually challenges my coffee game.  Here is the shop where he works.  Maybe they will send you some of their coffee.  If you are in their shipping area and you give them money then you can get some.  That seems to be how this works.

So why does coffee pair with anger?

  1. Anything with alcohol will not serve you when you are angry.  It is a bad pairing, like brushing your teeth and then drinking orange juice.  Blech!
  2. It gives you a ritual, even if you don’t do it “right”, there are still a lot of steps.
  3. Taste-wise, you can add sugar or cream and soothe your senses or drink it straight up and sharped your thinking.
  4. It encourages you to sit down and think.  You can write a list, you can journal your anger, you can write a letter to whomever you are angry with (even yourself) and then not send it.
  5. Finally, coffee is a thinky-drink.  You can lose yourself looking for tasting notes in the exact same way that you do wine.  You can also focus your thoughts without the blunting effects of alcohol or distractions.  You can get to the facts of why exactly are you angry.

If you want to enhance the effects of this drink, invite over a friend.  Talking is a great way to process anger.  If The Angry Place, is where you live, then consider visiting a therapist that specialises in Cognitive-Behavior-Therapy.  They won’t do anything weird and you will have guidance in getting unstuck.

If you are curious about the therapy and want to check out the theory, check out this cool video.

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